Wedding Guest Etiquette 101:Your Guide to Dress Codes, Gifts, and Plus Ones
You got a wedding invitation — congratulations!
Now you're probably wondering, What should I wear? Should I bring a gift? Can I bring a friend?
As wedding planners, we've attended more than a few weddings, and we're here to answer all the questions one might have.
Attending a wedding is more than just witnessing a beautiful union; it’s a chance to show grace, thoughtfulness, and good etiquette. Your behavior as a guest actually plays a big part in how the day feels for the couple. It’s an unexpected but very real truth about weddings.
In this guide, we’ll walk you through the essentials of being a great guest, all the questions you might have, from timely RSVPs and appropriate attire to thoughtful gifts and respectful behaviour.
Image From: Beautiful Life Studios & Florals: Flowerly
Question 1: What Should I Wear?
One of the first questions that might pop into your head after RSVPing “yes” to a wedding is, What am I going to wear? Dress codes are becoming more common, and they can range from straightforward (like “black and white”) to a little more interpretive (like “florals and bright colours”). So, step one is always to double-check the invitation and see if there’s a dress code listed, because you don’t want to be the only one who missed it!
Outside of themed dress codes, you’ll likely see terms like black tie, cocktail, or semi-formal. But what do those actually mean? Let’s break it down.
Black Tie
This is the most formal dress code. Men typically wear a tuxedo, while women go for a floor-length gown or a cocktail dress. It’s meant for upscale, evening weddings.
Cocktail Attire
Cocktail is dressy, but not quite a black tie. Think stylish and polished. Men wear a suit and tie, and women often choose a midi dress, jumpsuit, or something that feels elevated but not overly formal.
Semi-Formal
A step more relaxed than a cocktail. Men can go with dress pants and a button-up or blazer. Women might opt for a nice dress or skirt set, something comfortable, but still pulled together and celebratory.
Remember, the key is to feel comfortable and confident in what you wear. It's always better to be slightly overdressed than underdressed for such a special event.
Image From: Beautiful Life Studios
No Dress Code? Here’s What to Do
If there’s no dress code listed, don’t stress. A good rule of thumb is to consider the couple’s vibe; you're likely close with them if you’ve been invited. Still unsure? Here’s a general guide:
Cocktail or midi dresses are usually a safe bet. For outdoor weddings, go for something breathable and flowy. For formal indoor settings, lean a bit more elegant. Suits or tailored pants with a dress shirt are perfect for men. And if the invite even hints at a black tie, go with a tux.
When in Doubt:
– Always lean a little dressy. It’s better to be slightly overdressed than under.
– Ask another guest or reach out to the couple (or their planner) if you’re totally unsure.
Question 2: Can I Bring a Plus-One?
This is one of the most common questions guests have, and for good reason! Whether you're in a new relationship or simply don’t want to attend solo, it’s natural to wonder if you can bring a date or a friend along.
Before you start making plans, take a careful look at your invitation. It’s the couple’s way of communicating their wishes clearly. If your name is the only one listed, they’re likely inviting you solo. If it says something like “[Your Name] and Guest” or includes your partner’s name, then you’re welcome to bring someone.
Can I bring a plus one if it's not specified on the invitation?
It's essential to respect the couple's wishes regarding the guest list. If the invitation does not mention a plus one, it's best to attend solo.
Image From: Beautiful Life Studios
Remember, weddings are carefully planned with guest counts, seating charts, and catering in mind. Bringing an unexpected guest, even with the best intentions, can put stress on the couple and their budget.
The golden rule? Respect what the couple has planned. Weddings are expensive, and every guest adds to the headcount. Often, couples choose to invite just the people they know personally, especially when space or budget is tight.
If you truly aren’t sure and feel like you need clarity, it’s completely okay to reach out. Just be thoughtful and kind in how you ask, and understand that whatever the answer is, it’s coming from a place of intention.
Question 3: Should I Bring A Gift? If So What?
If you're new to the wedding season of life, you know, that phase when it feels like everyone you know is getting married, you’re probably wondering what’s expected when it comes to gifts. Do you have to buy something off the couple’s wedding registry? How much should you spend?
These are all completely valid questions. Wedding gift etiquette has shifted over the years, and while giving a gift is still appreciated, the rules are a little more flexible than they used to be.
Whether you choose something off the registry or go the personalized route, both options are equally meaningful. A gift is a beautiful way to show your excitement for their new chapter and to thank them for including you in their celebration.
Image From: Beautiful Life Studios
Claudia and Co. Tip About RSVPing
Don’t wait to RSVP, respond as soon as you can! It might seem like a small detail, but it makes a huge difference for the couple. From finalizing the seating chart to confirming meals and guest counts with vendors, a timely RSVP helps everything run more smoothly. It also shows the couple that you’re looking forward to celebrating with them. A quick response is one of the simplest (and kindest) gifts you can give.
What If I Can’t Attend?
What If You Can’t Attend the Wedding?
Sometimes, despite your best intentions, you simply can’t attend a wedding, and that’s okay. Life happens. But if you’re unable to make it, there are a few thoughtful steps you can take to honor the couple and show your appreciation for the invite.
First, RSVP promptly.
As soon as you know you can’t attend, let the couple know. A timely RSVP helps them plan everything from guest count to catering, and sometimes, it even gives them the opportunity to invite someone else they couldn’t initially fit on the guest list.
Second, send your best wishes.
A heartfelt message goes a long way. Thank the couple (and their families if they’re hosting) for including you, and let them know how honored you were to be invited.
Third, consider sending a gift.
If you’re especially close to the couple, sending a gift is a lovely gesture, even if you won’t be there to celebrate in person. It could be something from their registry or even something personalized that arrives before the big day, an early reminder that you're thinking of them.
Image From: Beautiful Life Studios
Lastly, stay connected.
A few days before the wedding, consider sending a warm, encouraging message. Let them know you’ll be cheering them on from afar. Pro tip: Try to avoid sending messages on the actual wedding day, things get hectic fast, and one less notification can mean a little less stress for the couple.
Being present isn’t always about showing up physically. Small gestures and genuine words still go a long way in making the couple feel loved and celebrated.
Question 4: What Can I Do To Be A Great Guest?
You're Going, Here's How to Be the Best Wedding Guest!
Now that we’ve covered all the etiquette questions, let’s talk about how to be the kind of guest every couple dreams of, someone who brings the fun, respects the moment, and helps make the day unforgettable (in the best way!).
1. RSVP Early, You Already Know the Drill!
Sending your RSVP on time is one of the simplest but most important things you can do. It lets the couple finalize their seating chart, confirm meals, and move forward with their planning. You’d be surprised how many guests forget this part and leave the couple or planner scrambling to track them down!
2. Be On Time (Or Even a Little Early)
A wedding isn’t the place to be fashionably late. Best case? You miss a few minutes. Worst case? You walk in mid-ceremony and cause a bit of a disruption. Aim to arrive at least 15 minutes early so you can settle in, soak up the moment, and be fully present.
3. Have Fun, That’s What You’re There For!
Weddings are meant to be joyful. If you’ve followed the dress code, respected the couple’s wishes, and brought a thoughtful attitude, you’re all set to enjoy the night! Get out on the dance floor, take part in the celebration, and let the couple see how happy you are to be part of their day.
Being a great guest isn’t about being perfect, it’s about showing up with love, enthusiasm, and good energy. And trust us, the couple will feel it.
Happy Wedding Going!
TLDR: Wedding Guest Etiquette 101
Image From: Beautiful Life Studios & Furniture From: Detailz
Got a wedding invitation and not sure what’s expected of you? We’ve got you covered. Whether it’s figuring out what to wear, knowing if you can bring a plus-one, or deciding on a gift, being a thoughtful guest goes a long way in making the couple feel celebrated and supported.
What to Wear:
Check the invitation for the dress code. From black tie to cocktail to semi-formal, aim to match the tone of the event. No dress code listed? It’s always better to be slightly overdressed than under. When in doubt, ask the couple or someone close to them.
Plus-Ones:
Only bring a guest if your invitation clearly states you can. If you’re not sure, it’s okay to ask, kindly and respectfully, but always honour the couple’s decision.
Gifts:
While wedding gifts are no longer one-size-fits-all, they’re still appreciated. Whether it’s something from the registry or a personalized item, the gesture matters more than the price. Can’t attend? It’s thoughtful (though not required) to send a gift or heartfelt message.
RSVP Etiquette:
Respond as soon as you can. A timely RSVP helps the couple finalize important details and lets them know you’re excited to celebrate with them.
If You Can’t Attend:
Let the couple know right away, send your best wishes, and consider sending a gift or kind message. A small gesture keeps you connected, even from afar.
How to Be a Great Guest:
Arrive on time, follow the dress code, bring great energy, and most of all, celebrate with heart. Be thoughtful, gracious, and ready to have fun.
At Claudia and Co., we specialize in luxury weddings that stand the test of time, celebrations that people will talk about for years to come. If you’re looking for a wedding planner who can bring your dream wedding to life, let’s connect!